Glimpses into Reality

Saturday December 5th, 2009

Inhaling Life

Life is uncertain and unpredictable. In a moment life can change. Why is it we miss what we do not have and take ‘it’ for granted until we lose ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ may be for you)? Sometimes coming to places where ‘things’ are not as easily accessible, what takes a second in another place takes an extraordinary effort to do in another, and ‘things’ are things not so important as it is to another. Daily I’m hit with reality in my own life and in the life of others. I see how a poor boy that grew up in an unstable home is now working hard to earn a little for his young wife by working on odd jobs. I see a hospital full of people, young and old coming in with various diseases, all dependant on human wisdom. I see a world of poor and rich, ethnicities, people, struggles, simple joy, extreme hope, revolving round and round; an unstable force heading nowhere in universe too far and too wide. Sometimes life seems unbelievably crazy but amidst the absurd and under the surface of the extremes lies a meaning, a purpose, a life meant to reveal a plan and beauty.  It is not simple, not easy to understand, illogical at times but if you look hard enough you might just see something precious and breathtaking; the very essence of life. What you look for you will find. I hope you see God’s faithfulness, His power, His peace, His strength, His love, and the beauty and gift of being alive if even only for an instant. Today I was at a hospital and saw mothers and fathers holding and carrying their small children, some barely one month old, their palms firmly held the little one’s head and in their arms the child lay quietly and still. How precious we say life is when a baby is born, its first breath a miracle, isn’t that how we should view our whole lives? We are here on earth but for an ‘instant’ whether that instant be a second or a hundred years, we breathe a breath of life, experience and love. Today I became grateful again for this life God has given me, though I may still have a lot more to ‘attain’ and maybe I have to face challenges I would rather live without, I remain grateful for this breath I breathe. 

Friday December 4th, 2009

Belong

Here in Sri Lanka there is one thing that makes this country feel like home, a sense of community. No matter who you are, where you are the sense of belonging and family draws the best out of and strengthens each of us. This is what I love about this island of Sri Lanka the hospitality, homey feeling, and family connectedness you are surrounded with. Here no man is an island.  

Wednesday December 2nd, 2009

Growing Up

Yesterday was a Poya Day (Full moon day), a national holiday in Sri Lanka and each month people know and sometimes look forward to that extra day off during the full moon. The significance of this day eludes me right now but I was told that about 30 years ago or less this day and the day before the full moon, otherwise known as pre-poya, would be the Saturday and Sunday of the work week. Only when living in a culture do you get to fully experience the nuances of speech, thought, ways, character, the history and uniqueness which makes a country its own.  I feel as though I am writing as if I have never lived here before but I am making a conscious effort to look at my home country with new, appreciate, thoughtful, and expectant eyes. I want to learn what I may have missed as a young girl growing up a teenager here in Sri Lanka focused on trying to educate and figure out myself. Figuring out myself will take a lifetime so I have now learned, thus I set out to just enjoy this life long education and experience the adventure of learning.

This morning or I should say wee hours of the day I was up sniffling and sneezing because the previous day I helped clean and dust the house looking through old albums and trying to help my mother organize this house of memories. I always end up with a fit of sniffles and sneezes because of the dust, fumes, smoke and what not in the air even from just traveling through the city, which is also another factor to why I am in the condition I am now. Anyways, life goes on. 

Everything in life is a learning experience even in performing the most mundane tasks can teach a lesson on living. Taking on this challenge of organizing a health project has been a huge learning experience, after speaking with some people I have come to an idea of doing a simple first project for children who are in need. Working with people, locating people, helping people, speaking with people, everything you do is something you have to do together with others, participation and unification. We need others. Simple yet a difficult task because though we are alike we are not the exact same. It takes a visionary to bring individuals together.

Sunday November 27th, 2009

Imaginable

Woke up today to the water tank not working therefore washing up for Church is a tad delayed! Saturday I spent hours going through and researching nutritional and sanitation educational materials for children, which is needed for the project. After searching I ended up having to draw out some pictures myself and designing a small poster with a child covering her face with a tissue, and another coughing with his mouth wide open and in Sinhala writing ‘Cover your mouth’. Also had to draw up a little house and some open coconut shells and yogurt cups left out in the rain and then a little boy throwing those things in the trash (To make them aware about mosquitoes breeding in stagnant waters).  I am also trying to get a short skit together; it’s more like an expressive lecture to teach the kids to cough into their handkerchiefs (here everyone still uses handkerchiefs, the little pre-school children have their handkerchiefs pinned to their tops, it’s cute.) Basic and simple knowledge but it’s a start.

On Friday my mom’s gum suddenly swelled up and we had to go to a dentist immediately (thankfully she’s ok but has to go in for a root canal in a week). We ended up going to this Christian hospital they have here in Sri Lanka because the other places we called needed appointments. The amazing part of going there is that they don’t charge much for the patients because they want to offer services for those who can not afford proper healthcare. The place was clean, nice, and up-to-date. Those working there freely donate their time and care. (It really is amazing to see how much people give of themselves and serve Since there is a lot of need in the north-east region of this nation; doctors, specialists, and various aid workers are there helping those in need. Even if some of those helping are being compensated, it takes an extraordinary person to go and give their lives to live in conditions which are not ideal.)

We went to the hospital and while sitting in the waiting room, next to us sat this cute small thin little boy dressed in a school uniform, which is a white shirt and blue shorts, dark green backpack still on his back; his head closely shaved and his big black eyes smiled up at us. He was quietly and patiently waiting for his family, kicking his legs back and forth and playing with a tiny piece of scrunched up paper. He showed us his artwork of a colorful home and design. Kids, they are so funny and manage to keep themselves entertained to no end with ever so little at hand and a great amount of imagination.

As we grow older we sometimes lose that ability to imagine and dream. Certain events in our lives though, bring about those child like qualities in which we dare to dream of future, love and hope without a care in this world! Everyday we should dare to dream and seek God’s wisdom for His will and way. Believing in a hope, love, and faith no man can comprehend seems foolish to some but when seeking greater things of God you are putting your faith in the unseen, the unknown, not what your mind can logically analyze. Though we have so little at hand we put our faith, hope and trust in something greater than anything we can imagine.

Something New

Thursday November 26, 2009

8:36 am

   Due to the lightening and thunder going on as I wrote my previous update I had to shut down my computer and was not able to upload it onto the blog. So here are two updates for ‘you’ to read.

   Yesterday I got in touch with someone to help with the health project and it’s amazing to see this idea slowly coming into a reality. I still have a lot of preparing to do, I visited the World Health Organization yesterday to get some information and resources but apparently their librarian had a day off and might be back today. It’s not too bad that she was not there yesterday it’s just that it took us a good part of the morning just going through Colombo traffic to go there, one of the joys of living in Sri Lanka!  Good news is that I can get some more informational resources from them and the project work continues.

This year I’ve learned a lot about how important connections are, even in job hunting in the US so many people said it’s who you know that can get you into a job. Thankfully I know someone even bigger, the One who opens doors no man can shut and closes doors no man can open, the One who is the source of everything; my Heavenly Father. He provides ways in the wilderness, waters in the deserts, and does new things none can compare.

*Isaiah 43:19

Absurd Paradox

Wednesday November 25, 2009

3:40 pm

       As I write a soft slightly fragrant wind blows through the windows and thunder rolls in the distance. Although the weather has not been as hot as this island can get, the cool breeze is still appreciated. The coconut trees, which surround the house, wave and dance in the yard pushed and pulled by the now stronger wind and rain.  Earlier a family of monkeys could be seen playing high up in the mango and various other fruit trees around the house. One of the baby monkeys hung from its mother’s tail and played mischievously, running up on branch, hitting another monkey then quickly running back down.

Today I went around the city to get some things done and as I sat in the back of the trishaw, three-wheeler, tuk-tuk (whatever you may know it as) dodging cars, lorries, trucks, buses, bicycles, cows, dogs, and pedestrians, I saw places I haven’t seen in years and they still look the same. Driving through Colombo you can pass a mansion built for a king and right next to it will be some small completely out of place little tin shed which sells odds and ends or fruits and vegetables, the difference in the look and feel of the two is laughable. A little further down a pile of garbage lays untouched except by the multiple stray dogs and random cows looking for a quick bite to eat. I go down another road and fancy, glass encased buildings stand out amongst the old run down street. An open shop with a line of colorful brooms hang along on side of the wall and from the entrance a row of red, blue, yellow, pink, and orange household cleaning items hang. The white washed walls no longer gleam and shine but have a dreary streaked appearance. Along railroad tracks small tin roofed shanty’s sit upon mounds of dirt and trash, ironically bright orange buckets labeled ‘refuse’ are kept near their little homes; clean and empty. Driving down that road are brand new Jeeps, Toyotas, Hondas, and others (I’m not much of a car person but you get the point). Irony is everywhere, rich and poor collide co-existing together, ignorant of yet dependent on each other. I am not trying to paint a poor picture of Sri Lanka, it’s definitely a beautiful country with amazing potential but there is not enough ‘kinetic’ energy propagating to change that potential difference.

Learning Experiences to Make Memories

Tuesday November 24, 2009

For the past day and half I have been calling and talking to people trying to figure out what to do about this health project and working with some international organizations. Also I’ve been on the phone again and again calling to get my internet connection fixed, it really takes forever to get one thing done here. (Hence my 3 updates uploaded all at once instead of one at a time!) I think this is what’s called island living! Coming from a place where multiple things get done fast and efficiently, it’s a little frustrating at first knowing you have to spend one whole day going back and forth contacting a million different people just do one simple thing.

As for the health project, things are expensive. Prices have doubled if not tripled for basic necessities, all I can do is pray and give this whole entire project into the Lord’s hands. Even though I am breaking it down into a much more simpler project due to some government, religious, and financial restrictions it is still much bigger than myself but it’s just a matter of figuring out an affordable but effective approach. Right now I’ve contacted people to do a project for children in a poorer area, these children are so in need of help, they are mal nourished. After some more thought, we are planning to get some food products that we can afford on a tight budget and give it out to the children and their parents. I am trying to get a presentation together on nutrition and sanitation that will be captivating and informative for both kids and adults. If you have any ideas write it in the comment box below. J Life is interesting just when you get comfortable something comes along to stretch you to do more, I never thought I’d be able to do a health project right now at this time of my life and even though it is definitely something new, stretching, and different it is both a good experience and one that I will develop and learn a lot from. 

Coming back to Sri Lanka is also a slightly emotional experience because the last time I was here in 2006, my father passed away from non Hodgkin’s disease lymphoma. I had to quit my job in the US, move here for a couple of months to help my mother get things organized and settled in the ministry and work.

Memories surround me of my childhood, my father, mother, sister, and I all living, learning, and enjoying life under one roof here in Sri Lanka. Walking into our home when we first arrived our family photo frames were everywhere a picture of Jessica and myself when we were about 9 and 10 years old in Baton Rouge, Louisiana immediately caught my eye. The picture is cute and funny; Jess and I, hugging tightly with our excited, happy, content faces grinning widely back at me.  I look around each nook and cranny and specific memories of relaxing as a family in front of a natural environment scene from the balcony, studying at 4am for exams in that one room. Walking upstairs it’s as if I can vividly see daddy sitting in the room reading His Bible commentaries preparing for a sermon or standing outside in the garden flying his pigeons. Then going into the rooms I see in my memory Jess half sitting half laying down with a book in one hand and tipi tip (a Sri Lankan version of cheese puffs) in the other! Oh the precious memories! Even though getting things done here in Sri Lanka takes forever, too many insects bugging me, and going places take a crazy amount of effort, I still really do love Sri Lanka!

First Days in Sri Lanka

Monday November 23, 2009

7:15am

A sweet morning symphony

This morning I awoke to a cacophony of noises, which strangely melded together into a simple nice morning symphony. My aunt cooking in the kitchen before going to work, the myriad of birds bursting forth with song starting at 4.30am, a howler monkey annoying our dog and our dog barking right back at the intruder, the old Aiya playing the news on the radio at the highest volume so his aging ears can hear, the neighbors all awake and getting ready for their daily duties, the noises never end and the peaceful melodies continue.

Sunday November 22, 2009

11:49pm

White lights and Island Sights

After several months of planning, packing and preparing for our journey to Sri Lanka the day arrived for us to depart to visit our homeland. Adventure seemed to start on our shuttle drive to the Dulles International Airport. Since my mother and I were the only passengers in the van we got to chat with the driver. He told us about how he grew up during the Communist era in Romania and how he fled one winter hiding, walking, and jumping onto hidden compartments in trucks through forests and wintry roads to Germany. This reminded me of the reality of the situation in Sri Lanka and how men, women, and children are in plights much worse living in camps in the northeast of the island.

Flying into Sri Lanka at 5.50am I looked through my window in the plane and saw little twinkling lights in the country below. Surrounding and sometimes overlapping the sparkles of white light were the thick vegetation of the land. In some areas the wet rice fields appeared lake like in the middle of a green landscape. Coconut trees popped out of the ground and as the plane descended tried to wave its branches toward us. As we walked through immigration and towards customs the people around, the atmosphere all brought back immediate memories of my Sri Lanka. Greeted by some of our family members and seeing their wonderfully familiar faces felt like we’d never really left this island.

As we walked out of the airport to the van army guys stood around the airport holding heavy duty looking guns, I passed right by one guy and my heart really quickened seeing this machine which can kill someone in an instant. Apparently the island is still in a tense and unstable situation that even security guards at banks and stores and on the roads carry long rifles for protection due to frequent armed robberies.

Chatting with my relatives about the past and future as we drove towards our home. Surprisingly the driving startled me, suddenly the van was driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. You would think it would not have been such a big deal after living here in the past for about six years but it seemed so different and new yet familiar all at the same time. Observing the people, the roads, little shops, signs, humidity, mosquitoes (in the morning!), and smells it seems as if time really does stand still here on this island nation. Things do not quite change at such a fast pace as it would in other places. 

Talking with my relatives they told us more about the cost of living in Sri Lanka, the situation of the young girls who are being taken advantage of in the camps in the northeast, the lack of freedom of religion, and how people struggle to survive. To buy one loaf of bread it cost 37 Rupees on salaries of about 8,000 Rupees per month. This would be equivalent for a person living in America on an average salary to have to buy one loaf of bread for about 100 US dollars. The currency exchange rate of 100 Rupees is roughly equal to 1 dollar. Dahl otherwise known as lentils was known as the poor mans food, now he cannot even afford to buy what has now become part of a rich man’s diet. In the northeast where they have refugee camps for the thousands of people displaced from the war; the living conditions are far worse than one can imagine. My cousin said she and her husband went to that area to help. They said how people have almost no clothing, they use one piece of cloth to cover themselves and young girls cannot bathe without being watched or victimized. After seeing the people in the makeshift hospitals and what they were going through made her so physically sick she was unable to handle the reality of the sight.

Diseases are running rampant, having proper or even any food and shelter is more than a struggle what with people facing losses in jobs, even when they have a job the pay is about one dollar or two a day!

In the past few months I was wondering just how comfortable I had become living in the United States and although I realized I had all the comforts in the world, coming here and seeing these things first hand still puts things in a whole new perspective. We get so caught up in such silly mundane things and become greedy for things we don’t even need! We’re digging ourselves in debt trying to pay off our new flat screen t.v, entertainment system, car, house, trendy clothes, and social life. God forgive us for loving our selves too much that we’ve forgotten about our neighbor! On the flight I was wondering what I was doing coming back to Sri Lanka, I felt like my whole life was so uncertain but I now know. We cannot change the world, we cannot work a miracle, we cannot know every single detail of our life but by God’s grace and power He can do what we cannot.

Sweet Temptations

Sweet, sweet, it tasted so sweet not bitter as everyone had thought. No one suspected that something like that could stir such desire. Now all thought was bent on desire, captivating them; they forgot their purpose. This…this was all the mind could think of; unbeknownst to them it had taken hold of first their minds and now their hearts.

Slowly a pin point of light shone before her eyes, the glow quickened her heart, stirred deep within her and reminded her of a far away thought. A thought that seemed far away but important somehow. Quietly she looked through unseeing eyes; softly she started to remember…what was it she is trying to remember? Exposed, she suddenly felt so exposed wandering through this fog filled, gloomy land, where were they? How did she forget, but forget what?

Struggling to see although her eyes were open, she strained looking before her to catch a glimpse of the source of the light. Maybe, maybe it would bring back the memory that was fighting it’s way through this consuming desire.  Inside she could literally feel the war taking place in her very soul. The overwhelming sweet taste was dimly satisfying, almost quenching her thirst inching it’s way through every fiber of her being and then the reminder of the light would pierce her heart. Trembling as the internal battle raged on, she strained to see more.  A sudden burst of light shot through the fog that had built up around her and the others. A gentle whisper of purpose resonated within, quietly peace found its way to seep back into her heart. The sweetness of desire fought to stay in control but the memory of a greater purpose flooded before her with a radiance as a peace like a river flowed and washed over her. Strength from the depths of her being stormed out awakening the fierce virtue of her purpose allowing her eyes now to see beyond the fog and dreariness to the light shining so brilliantly before her. Oh how had she forgotten so quickly the wonders of the peace, purpose, and strength of her soul? She cried out with authority, ‘Bitter, bitter is the desire, though sweet it may be, we have forgotten our purpose. Look, see before you the light of peace, of strength which takes us on to our destiny.’

How easy it is to get caught up in whatever distraction our lives may face, leading us away from our purpose and destiny. God’s word is living and active, sharper than a two-edged sword - piercing through the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts. Our lives are laid bare before our Maker, nothing hidden and we are accountable.

We forget these, maybe because a desire becomes as we assume more than we can handle or the pressures of life weigh and drag us down. Whatever it may be remember that God is always and forever more than enough for us. He gives us only what we can handle and grace to overcome. In Hebrews it says, we can go with confidence to God, He knows and identifies with our life, what we go through, our temptations and He enables us to overcome, to live our life with a greater purpose and a destiny we cannot even imagine!

*Read Hebrews 4

Creations

As my first post was quite intense and was actually a piece I wrote awhile ago as an op-ed for a class on maternal and child health in developing nations - and the need there is to either create simple steps for change. I thought I might write about something less on the fervently impassioned side of 'healthonomics' and more about life; new life. This year my sister and two of my cousins- both on my mother's side- are all expecting their firstborns! Well one of my cousins'  Ruby and her husband had their little baby girl Jasmine in July and tomorrow, yes tomorrrow my other cousin John and his wife Rita will be having their little baby boy Aiden! In my excitement I thought I would use my creativity to make little crochet hats and things for the little ones and also start some paintings which need some further polishing up and more than just the background I've completed! Creativity- just another part of us complexly and wholly individualistic.

With these new beginnings come a great adventure, seeing little lives grow and learn day by day and step by step. It reminds me that every detail of our life is designed, every character, strength, gift, talent, need, desire, purpose, and plan are all imprinted right there inside of us. A genome of a different measure. Details entwined into our very being before we were even formed in our mothers womb. I know it's hard to imagine that these intricate, intimate features were all part of a workmanship created by God; but for me it gives me peace, strength, and courage to face whatever this world may produce. Knowing that you were not left without the right materials to grow, learn and accomplish your purpose- is comforting.

Below are some of my own creations of art.

Hope

The striking and starving numbers engulf the refugee camps. All around are fragments of what once was, the destruction of not merely homes and buildings, but the fragility of humanity as they wander blindly with eyes wide open looking for help. Conflict and upheaval are a continual cycle to the lives of South Asians. Afghanistan’s war that has spanned 25 years, Nepal’s Maoist uprisings, the incessant civil war in Sri Lanka, and continuous feuds between Pakistan and India have created a myriad of difficulties in the lives of people in this region. Not to mention the Tsunami that washed away lives of thousands, leaving millions homeless and earthquakes in Pakistan that has left people to this day still living in tent shelters. There is a fundamental importance for this region to elevate their health care priorities for mothers, young girls, and children in these refugee and relief camps.

These are women and children, their husbands and fathers lost in wars and torn away by floods, tsunamis, and earthquakes. Their own children even kidnapped as child soldiers, which has been evident in Sri Lanka. The refugee and relief camps that now have become their homes hold their already fragile lives in an uneven balance of life and death. More than 500,000 women each year in developing countries lose their lives to preventable complications of pregnancy and childbirth. These women face high fertility, poor nutritional status, and lack of basic health services. Compounding these problems is the fact that the women and children are now in a state of uncertainty, living in refugee camps.

In these developing countries, the statistics are high in infant mortality; 7.1 million infants worldwide die each year with about half dying during the neonatal period. There is a critical significance of proper maternal and child health care during pregnancy, delivery, and child survival. There is also a definite inadequacy of health care for mothers and children in refugee situations in these poorly resourced countries. In these refugee camp settings, the primary goal of emergency aid is to provide the basic services of shelter, nutrition, water, sanitation, and protection. Although vital, there is a need to address mortality and morbidity that occur due to acute medical, obstetric, surgical problems or chronic diseases that need specialists. A distressing reality is that hospitals and proper health care is not anywhere in immediate vicinity of these refugee camps. Undermining the effectiveness of the emergency primary care as most often, the sickest patients are unable to receive sufficient treatment.

An integration of home based primary and hospital care, alongside maternal and child health in these settings is essential. In recent months, Sri Lanka has seen a dramatic increase in violence leaving thousands running for their lives to makeshift camps barely out of the war zones. Lives filled with constant fear and dread, aid workers are at a constant shortage, mothers waiting in lines to see a physician, in blazing heat and limited sanitation facilities. Maternal and child health is critical to development thereby organization and deployment of proper health care for refugee camps is in dire need. Governments, non-governmental organizations, and healthcare workers across the board need to increase access and resources of maternal and child health amongst refugee and relief camps. Statistics show 34% of child deaths occur in South Asia; a region which has two-thirds the global burden of malnutrition, and holds an estimated half of all maternal deaths worldwide. Annual maternal mortality ratios range from 23/100,000 in Sri Lanka to 529/100,000 in Nepal. A few of the main causes for maternal mortality are hemorrhage, obstructed labor, and infectious diseases. A correlation is apparent between maternal health and neonatal mortality and the wellbeing of children. Health care for mothers and children is dangerously unsatisfactory in most refugee camps.

These nameless uniformed masses of men, women, and children, destitute and clothed in tatters wander aimlessly through the camps. A woman walks by, in her arms she holds her small infant, by her side a frightened child peeps from behind the folds of her skirts. They carry what they hurriedly gathered from their now war torn villages running for their lives from the natural disasters that have destructed their humble surroundings.

How can we create hope from this despair? By stepping up our goals for a higher standard, an effective approach, a cohesive and common vision to build up a strong and efficient healthcare provision for women and children. Let humanity not get lost in warring sects, politics, lack and inefficiency.