Grumble, grumble, rumble, rant, the days go by on and on, the same old same old. Do this, do that, get it done; efficiently and fast. Go here, go there, pronto! No time to slack, no time to think, no time, no time. Quick, race, don’t pace, can’t escape the same old, same old. I am in a rut, stuck. God forgive me for living a mediocre selfish life! Why is it that every so often I find that I’ve forgotten…
Lord change me, help me to live this life for you all day, everyday. I go about robotic, cerebellar and spinal cord functioning, with minimal cortical input, managing to get by day by day; heart rate 70 beats per minute, respirations 20 per minute, blood pressure steady at 95/65, temperature is lukewarm but alert and oriented, I am not sure. Altered mental status showing signs of confusion with a life approaching comatose sedation and activities of daily living acceptable for the mundane.
Infuse me, God, with a life giving, revitalizing dose of fluids from the springs of living water and the power of the Holy Spirit. Transfuse me with the cleansing, sanctifying blood of Jesus.
My life depends on this life changing procedure, seconds pass and my life fades. Normal sinus rhythm changes as my blood pressure drops with the ECG showing a chaotic wavy baseline. An infection of lackluster disillusionment and self-gratification has spread to the heart.
Delusions of myself diminish as the transfusion of life giving love flows through my veins. Let me give of myself and all I have to You – for You. I remember what I’ve forgotten. I forgot others. I forgot to live focused on God’s love, goodness, and power. Now all I hope to forget is myself so that I live not in a delirium, hallucinating what I imagine my life to be but become alert and oriented to God’s timing, place, and the people He plants in my life for each season and His reasons.
