Say Something

“Say something”...this phrase can often be heard reverberating through our heads. Opportunities sometimes come and go in a fleeting second. Although words fail and at times actions speak louder than words. Sometimes our lives our muffled and drowned out in the mundane routine and there arises a need for our voices to be heard. There must be something powerful in vocalizing the combination of simple characters, consonants and vowels. 

Crowds press forward together, eyes focused on one individual. Those not present have their ears perked up.  All listening anxiously anticipating words revolutionized streaming over the sounds waves. 

Hearts racing, their thoughts running a million miles an hour and in a second one phrase alter and marry two to a change in fate and fortuity.

In an opportune moment one emphatically takes a stance and with grandiose prolixity a judgment is ruled. 

Looking up he clings to the hope of hearing one single word, to treasure, to hold onto throughout the years.

In one single moment hurt builds hate and in another lives shatter, a consequence of a fragmented exchange. 

Remember the words. Remember what they said. 

Debate and dispute. Discuss and muse. The verbiage exudes and seeps into every crevice of our being. Edifying, dehumanizing, enlightening, instructing, comforting, destroying or preserving. 

When my father passed all I wanted was to hear his voice. That is something I will never forget on that day my mother told me my father had passed away. I remember crying saying and thinking I wish I could just hear him talk, say something, just one more time. 

There is power, life and death in our words. Who are we inspiring or are we just conspiring against ourselves and others with what we say? 

As this year winds down and yet another one rolls around. Let our words comfort, encourage, motivate and bring life. 

John 1:1-4 (MSG/NLT) The Word was first, the Word present to God. The Word was God, in readiness for God from day one...The Word gave life to everything...and his life brought light to everyone. 

Waiting for what...?

Can I get personal here for a moment? Hmmm…it’s the internet and I probably shouldn’t. I read this quote by Matt Chandler recently:

I know it seems really strange to some folks that some of us have remained single ALLL these years. They wonder what in the world is wrong with us…or whisper in other circles about how something is wrong with us. They may just chalk it up to eh…she/he is just too picky and thinks too much about themselves to settle for someone reasonable. Sometimes to be honest I wonder if something is wrong with me too. I wonder why I’ve been single for so long. I wonder why I gave up my 20’s to be so focused on getting one degree after another. I wonder if maybe I missed out on something…or missed out on meeting ‘the’ someone. Well…I don’t think so. To be perfectly honest there isn’t one day being single that I would give up. I have learned so much, grown so much and learned to believe so much more not just in myself but in my Christian faith. I’m glad I haven’t had to gain my confidence by my connection to some guy and like some girls have to have a continual string of guys because they can’t learn to live on their own. Or enjoy just being themselves by themselves. Anyways, I know 100% that whoever I’m ‘waiting’ for to marry (if I ever get the chance [to marry]) is going to be imperfect just like me. He will not complete me. He will probably at times irritate me. No matter, the daily decision to be content and enjoy my singleness is worth the realization that although I could fall in love with anyone. I would rather fall in love with someone who will challenge me to live for God even more.  It’s not an easy decision; it’s a daily decision.

A hopeful life

Hustling, poring over lab values, oxygen saturations and vitals, checking new serology and pathology results. Rushing from floor to floor. Listening and observing changes in facial expressions, demeanor, progressions as well as deteriorations in health. Knowing the expectations of your limitations. Dealing with sorrow, joy, anger, frustrations, intimidation, achingly hopeful optimisms with juxtaposed dreading realism. Looking in the faces of life and death. 

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of hospital life a conversation with an aging artist by trade brings things back into focus. “Thank you for taking the time to chat with me, I know how busy you must be,” he says cheerfully, as he lays in the disenchanting hospital room. “I enjoy chatting with you,” I reply as I think to myself, ‘taking time to converse with patients is my job, right?’ He then thanks me for being part of a great hospital staff before rattling off a few stories from acquaintances of past and present. Before long he reports on how small this world has become since the days of simple times, the ‘good old days, good old boys and girls’ now seemingly long gone. Yet, with his infectious joy and optimism he adds, ‘young lady, there is no time to be selfish, angry, quarrelsome or hurt. People get so caught up in the little things and forget there is an eternal life.’ he says wholeheartedly. 

We are here on earth for such a short period of time. There is no knowing when our last breath will be and our comprehension of the hereafter and eternal life is absolutely finite.  Yes, we are here hoping to be a blessing wherever we go to whomever we meet each and everyday. I try and it seems on most days fail and on an off chance I manage to succeed. 

The motto for life these days is to live each day as though it is your last. Carpe diem and live as though you may die tomorrow. I think some have lost the understanding of this and have interpreted it to mean - do whatever you want, however you want, whenever, and who cares about the consequences. In the middle of making the ‘most of it’ what are our motives, intentions, thoughts, and actions? Is it worth it to ‘just go for it’ and hurt others to make ourselves ‘happy’ or ‘seize the opportunity’ but cause chaos along the way? We become a selfish, boorish, brute bunch carefully hiding fragile vulnerabilities. The daily grind gets to us. It gets to me. I become focused on the routine and then soon feel empty wondering if and how my life is making a difference. How do we retain that simplicity of enjoying everyday life? Or take in a deep breath and feel, really feel that breath of life? How can we grasp and hold onto child like faith? How do we learn to appreciate the uniqueness and beauty in each individual and seize the opportunity or make the most of each encounter to encourage, uplift, and enlighten? Is it easy to put aside our insecurities and prejudices which end up trickling into our actions and behaviors? 

I’ve heard courage is not the absence of fear. It seems as though to live to make a difference we have to make a deliberate decision to live courageously despite our fears and insecurities. Even if making the difference is just stepping out into someone’s life  ‘holding their hand’ and listening. Living each day of this life as though it is your last is so much more meaningful when purposed with and lived through love. Life becomes excitingly refreshing particularly when learning to live a life of love through God’s eyes of grace. 

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans:15:13 [NLT]

“Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”Joshua 1:9 [MSG]

Beauty in the eye of the beholder

The golden rays of sunlight peek through the leaves above my head. I am surrounded by dense foliage and flora. The dark forest green lightens and brightens and my eyes adjust as light penetrates the dark crevices of the plant life around me. Aging vines creep and crawl around vast trunks of trees. In the golden beams I can now see the hidden beauty of the forest. A multicolored tiny little bird flits from branch to branch chirping a tune that doesn’t seem so scary in the dim sunlight. There are the pretty blue and violet petals of a flower now visible amongst the green grass. As I take a closer look I see the intricate detail of design in the landscape.

I stand on the rocks at the edge of the sea. Nothing but a vast seemingly never-ending expanse of water as far as my eyes can see. I had climbed down the somewhat sketchy steps etched into the rock cliff to get closer to the crashing waves against this rocky ledge. There is something exciting about venturing out on your own and experiencing the raw beauty of nature. Just my camera, and me ha!  The sea is literally crashing all around me against these rocks coming in closer and closer as the tide seems to be rising a lot faster than I thought. Maybe it’s because there seems to be a storm brewing in the distance. It’s causing me to lose ground that isn’t slick and slippery and now I re-think the wisdom of climbing down on to this little area with nothing between this deep blue sea and myself. Yet, I gaze around in awe, observing the layers and hues of color in the rocks and the trickles of a little waterfall. In the crevices of the cliff I see crabs scuttling back into the depths of rock. There is a unique essence to the life and design of even this little area of cliff and rocks.

You are beautiful. It is a simple sentence yet powerful. Just like the scene of the sea against the rocks. All one might see from afar is just that, water on rocks, but a closer look and one would see the power and force of the waves as it bursts over rocks with a crashing noise. Unnerving, facing those waves but it awakens you, revives and excites you. Or allowing your eyes to adjust to the silent piercing rays of golden sunlight that filter through the dense flora and foliage you can perceive the once hidden treasures.

As young girls or women we need to know we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

How we have a heavenly Father who knew every detail of our design. Our frames were not hidden and our forms intricately woven into whom we are to become. We need a foundation to grow from knowing that in this world there will always be people judging, critiquing, and informing. Beauty is finding rest in our maker. Allowing our lives to have a continued joyful hope in life despite discouragements, failures, or insecurity. 

 

In our rushed, striving culture we sometimes miss out on true beauty. We get so caught up in beauty being the glitz and glam of our outward appearance.  When beautiful is what is seen in a smile that encourages, a kind word or a thoughtful gesture of friendship to someone who once was a stranger.

This year as I remember my father. I am grateful for a father who cherished his daughters and instilled in me that we are valuable and beautiful. I am forever grateful despite my insecurities, disappointments, and discouragements, I can rest in joyful hope and faith in a loving creator. 

What is Love?

I struggle. Sometimes I struggle to understand the why to so many questions. Sometimes I find it difficult to comprehend the timeline of my life. Sometimes I feel like a nomad, wandering aimlessly through life, accidently doing something worthwhile but more often than not just biding my time. Biding my life away here on this earth, hoping something amazing will happen to me. That’s where I think the problem lies. I feel like I am hoping, wishing, thinking with very little doing, hiding behind big words and grand ideas.

I sit there watching, observing, as his eyes never stray from her face. Those gray eyes that have seen so many years, her face graced with lines etched in, reminding him of the many, many years ago when they first met. His eyes old and dark glisten with tears as he tries to understand what is going on around him. All he can do is look at her. Sometimes his eyes stray back to the smiling man in the white coat asking him questions, questions he can’t seem to comprehend. He looks back at her, his wife, trying to find something, an answer maybe? She is all he knows, all he can understand right now. She sits there her face calm and gentle, answering the doctors’ questions, hopeful that maybe things can get better? The doctor asks how many years they have been together; she answers beaming with pride, “65 years.” He then asks him. "What’s your name sir?" No response. "Can you tell me what year it is?" He mutters something…maybe something about 1948 or 1945? "Do you know who that is next to you?" His face never turned away from hers and his answer is quick and confident, “my wife.” She smiles, a sad smile as tears now glisten in her eyes. She knows all he knows is who she is but the life they used to live is not the same. Their timeline of life long and full has proven their love is till death do them part. This graceful, little lady is determined to care for her ailing husband with Alzheimer’s; hard as it is as she is older and barely strong or healthy enough to even care for herself.

"Sir, can you draw this pattern?" He looks at his wife confused, she hands him the pen and repeats, “draw this.” He looks at her, his eyes dart quickly at the doctor; reaches for the pen struggling to figure out how to hold it firmly in his hand. He sits there, already forgotten what was asked. The doctor asks, "draw a circle." Nothing. The smiling doctor, seeing how much they love each other asks, "can you write, ‘I love my wife’." To our surprise, this old gentleman with his glistening, aged dark eyes, scrawls in child like penmanship ‘I love my wife.’ His wife beams and reaches for that scrap of paper and holds it like treasure, a glimpse of what once was.

I sit there amazed. I observe what love really is. Not a shallow lust portrayed oh so well in our young society. It’s a journey, a fight not with each other to prove their love but a fight for each other together to stay in love. It seems to be a constant fight to forget the wrongs and remember the right. It’s hopeful but perseveres. It stays together, works together, gives, cares, and shares together. We throw the word ‘love’ around a lot. The only problem is that it’s not just being in love, it’s being love in action.

Through my seemingly aimless wandering in this life, I fortunately come across reminders of a purpose to be love in action to those who I may accidently meet on my little journey of life. Purposely serving, giving, sharing, trying to live a life of love in action. I often fail and sometimes I forget and selfishly I….but thankfully remember.

It is a work of art, step by step, brush stroke by brush stroke the bigger picture slowly but surely comes together.

Though the vision is not clear and tarries, wait for it.